Image source: Clash Magazine
So, you went to Download (or any other gloriously chaotic festival where deodorant is optional and pits are both metaphorical and literal). You screamed, you jumped, you lost your voice and your dignity somewhere between the circle pit and the portaloos. And now? You’re back at your desk, trying to remember your passwords and not visibly weep every time someone says, “Did you have a relaxing weekend?”
Here’s how to survive the work week when your soul is still in a field screaming “Take me back to eden” with 10,000 other emotionally unstable adults.
1. Hydrate Like You’re Apologising to Your Body
You’ve replaced 60% of your blood with warm beer and adrenaline. It’s time to reverse the damage. Keep a water bottle on your desk like it’s your emotional support animal. Sip continuously. Refill frequently. Pretend it’s fixing you.
2. Curate a “Functioning But Festive” Work Outfit
You can’t wear your battle jacket to the office (unless your workplace is very cool or has no HR department). Opt for something monochrome to mask the emotional void, and maybe sneak a band tee under a blazer. Bonus points for looking “edgy professional” — minus the crowd-surfing bruises.
3. Apply Concealer Like You’re Painting a New Identity
Your under-eyes are telling a story. That story is “I haven’t slept since soundcheck.” Brighten them. Hide the existential dread. Use dry shampoo liberally. Pretend you woke up looking like this and not in a tent next to a stranger dressed like a human pineapple.
4. Master the “Festival Flu Cough Mute”
You’re still recovering from screaming to your heart’s content and inhaling mystery dust particles. Your lungs are staging a small rebellion. Use your meeting mute button like your life depends on it. Cough silently. Nod knowingly. If someone asks, just say, “hayfever,” and move on.
5. Lower Your Brain Expectations
You are not at full capacity. You are, at best, a shadow of your former self being powered by caffeine and vibes. Don’t try to innovate. Don’t volunteer for anything. Just ride out the week like the corporate ghost you are. You’ve earned it.
6. Listen to Sad Music and Call It “Decompression”
Your post-festival depression isn’t just a vibe—it’s a diagnosis (unofficially). Lean into it. Queue up the setlists. Cry a little. Call it “processing.” If anyone asks why you’re listening to Lorna Shore at 10am, just say, “Team culture.” They won’t question it.
7. Avoid Group Chats Until You Emotionally Stabilise
Everyone’s sending videos. Everyone looks alive and glowing. Meanwhile, you’re trying not to sneeze out confetti. Mute the group chat. Come back when your skin doesn’t feel like it’s made of sandpaper and regret.
Final Thoughts
Returning to work after a festival is like trying to merge onto a motorway in a car with three wheels and no windscreen. You will look weird. You will feel worse. But you will survive. And when someone dares say “You don’t look like someone who listens to that kind of music,” just smile, sip your water, and CC them.
See you in the pit.
Cc: You in the Pit 
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