BABYMETAL at The O2: Metal, Mayhem & Mild Corporate Burnout

Image source: Secret London | Credit: Stewart Marsden, Shutterstock

Reviewed by your friendly neighbourhood corporate goth.

There are few things more disorienting than finishing a Q3 strategy call and then, mere hours later, getting your face melted off by three tiny Japanese women in gothic tutu armour yelling about chocolate. But that’s the life I’ve chosen – corporate PowerPoint assassin by day, mosh pit gremlin by night.

So, here’s my full report on BABYMETAL’s O2 Arena takeover on May 30th – a gig so chaotic, so dazzling, and so violently adorable it felt like getting slapped by a glittery war hammer.

Pre-Gig: Suit Off, Docs On

Let’s start with the preamble. I left the office at 5:47pm with the energy of a dead printer, changed in Victoria Station’s toilet like some sort of glam-rock Cinderella trying not to gag (failed), and arrived at the O2 surrounded by thousands of fans who looked like anime characters possessed by the ghost of Lemmy.

Some wore fox masks. Some wore full cosplay. I wore a blazer because I forgot to pack my mesh top. Ah, I’m home.

Kawaii Meets Carnage

The house lights dimmed. The opening chords of “BABYMETAL DEATH” blasted. Flames erupted. Somewhere, a finance bro probably felt a disturbance in his gilet.

Su-Metal, Moametal and Momometal (the new girl, she’s fabulous, think Power Ranger with eyeliner) ascended like goth cherubs of chaos. What followed was 90 minutes of unhinged, synchronised metal mayhem.

Setlist Highlights (or: songs I screamed so loud I herniated a lung):

• “Megitsune” – Fox god is real and she’s wearing pigtails.
• “BxMxC” – Su rapped. I blacked out.
• “Metali!!” – Tom Morello on screen doing guitar heroics while I tried not to cry.
• “Kon Kon” – Featuring BLOODYWOOD, because why not? IKONic.
• “Gimme Chocolate!!” – Still an anthem. Still sounds like a toddler having a sugar rush in hell.

The Vibe: Excel Spreadsheet in the Streets, Demon Summoner in the Sheets

You know how I love a Venn diagram. Picture this:

• Circle 1: Finance analysts who scream in Excel.
• Circle 2: Black-clad metalheads who think tinnitus is a spiritual experience.
• Intersection: This gig.

Final Thoughts: Babymetal Don’t Play – They Slay

Look. BABYMETAL is not for everyone. If you want your metal served gruff, grey and dad-approved – go see Judas Priest. If you want a multi-sensory ritual that feels like being dropkicked through a kawaii apocalypse, BABYMETAL is your band.

They brought fire. They brought weird. They brought a dancing fox cult and the loudest production I’ve ever experienced without signing an NDA.

• Corporate stress: 10/10
• BABYMETAL live: 13/10, would get spiritually cleansed by teeny Japanese metal angels again
• My soul: cleansed
• My ears: obliterated
• My heart: full
• My Outlook calendar the next morning: “Meeting with Dave | 9:00am | Try not to cry”

See you in the pit.